so u know u married a dumbbitch...

when u are told that ure child will never be used as a weapon yet that is the one thing she goes with when the "no sex for you" line stops working.

the One Crock of shit

We were talking at work how if i dont simmer down and take one of the girls on there offer of allowing my balls to be in there purse i have the chance that i may miss "the one" so i did a little experiment to prove the effectiveness of the one. Here are the Results:

Even the computer says there is no Fucking Way that with this many people in the world you Can/will ever find that person that is your soul mate!!! Sorry Oxygen network and TLC go cuddle one of your 60 cats and move on to the next fantasy that was created to keep ugly people happy and keep the suicide rates down

Mike tyson

So when i golf the rubber from my club heads get all over my hands and it looks as though i just ruffed up Mike Tyson's suspect

I THINK I BANGED RUPAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What would robots do?

so this new girl im seeing told me that she has 13 piercings with 6 down by the belt. so i told jay this and then followed it with if i wanted to fuck nothing but metal i would call i robot!!!

the hole of the unknown stripper

as posted before I got trashed and banged 3 strippers to who i though i had known all of them this is how i found out i dont know a hole that i thought i did...... I was on the phone with one of the girls that i thought was the 3rd piece of the gevry nasty love puzzel and she started giving me an attiude about going up to the CR that evening. i commented with " wow you must have been drunk if you dont remeber going up there with me" and she said i wasnt up there what are you talking about? I thought quick and hard and came up with the only thing that i could think of and said " yeaaa, i was realy drunk" so now i must go there this tuesday and see who is working and whos ass shakes just the right way

Food is like sex

we were discussing how when you want someone else its alot like food.... if you want cake but all you have is pretzels eventualy when your hungry enough you will eat the pretzels so not to starve but it just wont hit the spot like the cake.

G money-Jdizzel